Not Like This

Who are you to judge me when your shit is no better?

At least Iโ€™m courageous enough to walk my path,

I adapt through the judgmental storms of any weather.

So why even try to get back together?

Inconsistently proving to me itโ€™s pleather,

As synchronized as the lone feather, 

Maturing through my frustrations and pulling myself together;

Because I promised the next time around, 

I would release you once and for all and let her.

Finally step into the role of false promises and lingering desires,

Passionate long nights but when dawn peaks you ghostly retire,

Is it only a bedroom fire? 

I can feel your soul leaving your body as our bodies float higher,

Intimidated by my ability to manifest all I acquire,

But how could that be true when you are the flame who set my heart on fire?

Stone cold lips for the fucking liar,

Mirroring the ugliest parts of me which is why I cannot deny him.

Praying daily for your return to the castle,

I wonโ€™t even stress myself with the hassle,

If she wants to continue to be on the end of your lassel,

I shift my tassel to pass off the baton that continues to leave me rattled,

Because how can I give you access to a sacred place when for others you make me the fool?

Naรฏve to the Spiritual lessons upon you for being so dimensionally rude.

To not cherish the ground of the Queen you called in,

Chasing the halls for years but hesitant to release your sins,

But if this is how and where it ends,

I bet I wonโ€™t do this again,

Not like this.

Earth Fire Air

September Twenty Sixteen

I learned what Karma really means

I thought that he was everything

But my feelings noticed things

But for my egoย 

I continued to suppress

Staying up late

Missing out on restย 

The constant agony in my chestย 

Running from the fear of defeat

Lying on the beach in extreme heat

Reminiscing on the memories

Wondering why he treated me so cold

From the mistreatment feeling old

San Diegoย 

Turning cold

When deep down I always knew

On a plane I should’ve flew

Back to the love I truly deserved

I was running from my destiny

This toxic love journey was the best for me

Aware of my worth and I declared Moore

Woke up one day and said fck itย 

Threw all my pebbles in a bucket

Sea sickย 

I up chucked it

Thought I found a piece of gold

But he was a shiny piece of nothing

Stay tuned for more of the story. . . . . . .

Choke

Uprooted my whole life,

Thought I was his wife,

The perfect type,

Even though I did everything right,

All we ever did was fight,

Freedom to speak,

Exercise control,

By the throat,

Deep breath, I hold.

Dealing with karma,

Pick a side,

& Allow the rest to unfold.

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