I use to be so naive

For believing in things

That were against my dreams

The toxic role models

Were the best I ever seen

Because my exposure was limited

I had no real stars on my team.

So many broken homes

& Fake facades

It looked like a happy home

But my abode was a garage

Metaphorically speaking

I kept up my own mirage

Because I was timid and alone

Things looked so easy

But they were hard.

Lacking love and affection

Misguided because no one knew the right direction

Maternally speaking,

I was expecting

For her to nurture the soil but she didn’t get it.

Continued to leave me in the cold

Instead of love

She continued to scold

& For so many years she had this toxic hold

Until I had to break the generational curse

It was time to let go.

I never speak on how I grew

The less people knew

The easier it was for me to get through.

Internally damaged and bruised

She was beating me black and blue

To be with the woman in my dreams

Third dimensionally

It wasn’t you.

It’s so sad how things have changed

Constantly inflicting personal delays

Working against all the days I prayed

Down in the slums

She wants me to stay.

But I had to learn she didn’t know

Naive on how to properly show

The cycle continued

But I could take no more

I declare today the day, I finally let go.

So Ms. Jackson you played your part

In shattering the pieces of my naive heart

Did nothing for me

But take the spark

Even on my sunniest days

You prayed for me to be in the dark.

So now I know that things are true

Stuck on yourself

Selfishly glued

So fcking mean and awkwardly rude

Mad at the world because of your life

When I’m the one who should have the attitude.